by Laura | Jul 11, 2019 | Gratitude
LOVE IS WORTH IT
We were 8 months pregnant and not a single person knew. We were entangled in a web of lies we had woven and in an instant, our lives came crashing down. It was June of 1999, it was the first time I ever laid my eyes on her. She was the most beautiful girl I’d ever seen. I remember thinking to myself, “Damn, the guy who gets that girl is the luckiest guy in the world.” For six long months though, I could only admire her from afar. Finally, the semester’s wrapping up and I realized my time was now or never, so I slipped her a note asking for her phone number. As I watched her scribble something back, my heart was literally just beating right out my chest. I could only think of the worst-case scenario. Instead, written there in beautiful handwriting was her phone number. We exchanged many calls that lasted all night through to the early morning, and with a little bit of magic, we began dating. And that was just the beginning of our journey together. One year later, Emily was eight months pregnant and not a single person knew. It was her best-kept secret but also the worst kind to have. Emily was small and wore big sweaters to cover up the bump. We were young, naive and clueless teenagers. We had some of the toughest conversations of our lives during this period. It didn’t get any easier from there though. We made the very difficult decision to put our unborn son up for adoption. We had several meetings with the local adoption agency, meetings where we sifted through, profiles of potential parents. A couple of strangers would be reaping the rewards of our unplanned pregnancy. They would be happy parents and we would not be parents. At 19, a part of me felt light, relieved from the pressures and responsibilities, but the other part of me felt very heavy. I was weighed down by these deep senses of guilt, shame, and regret. The day came for us to finally sign the adoption papers, but before doing so we met Emily’s doctor for her routine appointment, and what the doctor said next would forever change the course of our future. “Emily, your baby’s too small. You need to stay at the hospital until you give birth.” There is now no choice but to reveal our year-long secret. It was time to tell her parents. And they were not happy, to say the least. Her mom is very traditional East Asian and wanted a dowry in exchange for her daughter. She asked for two goats. Where I was supposed to find two goats? Ultimately, with the love and support of our families, we decided to keep our son. We would be happy parents after all. Sometimes what seems insurmountable at the moment may end up being one of life’s greatest blessings. I’m a testament to that. 17 years ago, I was scared, and I doubted myself every single day because I wasn’t sure if I had what it took to be a good father. And now, I’m so proud to be standing on this stage to be able to share my story with my son who is in attendance tonight. He has no idea how many times he’s pulled me out of the darkest moments of my life with his love and his laughter. I see a part of me in him, and I’m credibly proud of the man he is becoming. Better not be bringing home any baby just yet though. As for my high school sweetheart, there are simply no words for me to describe how much love I have for her. We’ve been together for almost 18 years and now have two more beautiful sons. And even though she’s the last person in the world who’d watch a horror movie with me, she’ll always be the first to laugh at my dad’s jokes. Definitely worth more than two goats. I’ve often heard that to make a relationship work, it needs to be 50/50 but I’ve learned that is absolutely not true. Because love is hard, love is stupid, love is messy, love is blind, love is painful, but in spite of all this, love is still so worth it. Love is when you give 100% and expect zero in return because if Emily and I haven’t given each other everything we had all of these years, those two young teenage parents would’ve never made it here today. Almost two decades ago, remember what I said? The guy who gets that girl is the luckiest man in the world. Who would have ever thought that it would be me?
by Laura | Jul 10, 2019 | Blog
Discover the power of your inner technology and see New York Times best-selling author, Gregg Barden.
So, you can see the practitioners behind. You can see the ultrasound, the sonogram technician. There’s the woman’s tummy. It’s exposed. She obviously is awake. Ok and here is the split screen monitor. On the left side is the snapshot that I was talking about and the blackness is the emptiness of the bladder. The lump is the tumor and the curve is the floor of the bladder. On the right-hand side, now you’re going to see the real-time image of the tumor. Ok, and what I’m inviting you to do now… What you want to do is watch and compare what’s happening on the right side is real time with the before image on the left.
When we see something like this happen, we call it a miracle. It’s only a miracle until we understand what has just happened. Then it becomes a technology. Inner technology. They are feeling the feeling as if she is already healed. They are claiming and creating an energetic pattern of an already healed – fully healed, fully enabled, fully capacitated woman, rather than buying into the illusion of the tumor that she has temporarily at that moment.
by Laura | Jul 1, 2019 | Blog
Hey guys! It is Day 6 on Facebook live. Today is a difficult video for me to make. You know, in these 30 days, we go through so many highs and lows in our life and yesterday, I woke up thinking that I was a certain person, I am Angel, the sister who I thought I was. I went to bed not knowing who I was anymore and I woke up a different but unveiling the truth about myself that was hard to accept but also understand that life is the way it is and I don’t based who I am upon who others are or what my skin cells say, so the last few months, I’ve been studying some ancestry history and learning a little bit about cleansing and healing different things that happened in our life. I went to Scott and Scoar and I remember being a young girl and I remember being left back in school, I remember being so upset and so angry that I talked to God and said to God, if You are real, wake me up at 2 in the morning and I woke up at 2 in the morning, and it kind of freaked me out, I was like, oh goodness, God, You are real. I make another pack , wake me up at 4 in the morning and then I woke up at 4 in the morning and I made a relationship with God and say, I know you will always going to be there, I don’t know if anybody else is, but I know You are and I built this relationship around God and I built this relationship for so many years and it kept me stable and strong. Throughout my life and I decided to do my DNA and I missed doing that, it changed my life It affected me in a way, who I thought I was, is not really who I am, but I then realized I am who I am, regardless of my DNA and I learned how to love people, in spite of whether they are my blood or not, and nothing changes for me. If indeed I have the same blood as somebody or I don’t that I learned how to love unconditionally. I know that everything happens just as it is meant to be and was meant to have all the experiences that I have had. Today, to be who I am and as tough as this video to make and as hurtful I thought it was is as healing as it is, because there are always things about me that I didn’t quite understand, that I understand now. The healing of knowing the truth is always important but also understanding what unconditional love is. Unconditional love is knowing somebody is always going to be there, knowing that you love them, a degree that matters that is beyond a condition. It doesn’t need to have any conditions on it, it’s in spite of somebody hurting you, or somebody lying to you, or somebody doing that is vindictive to you. That’s unconditional. Do you need to continue to put yourself to be hurt by people? No, but can you understand where they are coming from and see it from a distance and be unconditional about it and allow yourself and save space to be able to be there. But when you get to this place of unconditional love, you get this feeling of forgiving them, for they don’t know what they do when you get that feeling, you are brave. Another thing is I also learn that Jesus said the comforters are always with you and that’s what I hold on to, that comforter knowing that is inside of me that I can hold on to that hand. It will help me through anything that I’m going through. Even though this has been a crazy experience for me to acknowledge, and jump into the plane, go pick up the kids, this is going to be short and sweet but on top of it. I just want you to know that you are beautiful, you are loved and learning to be who you are not related to other people. I am Angel, the go-getter. I am Angel, the great mother, those things I can control. Those things that I know I can be in spite of anything else around me, but when I put my conditions in my life that I am, these according to somebody else’s. If they think that I am that way, then I am that way, but I always got this thing that people’s opinion of me is not really my business. I have to be truthful to myself. The opinion matters to that point that I am not hurting or violating another person but on the other hand, I have to be truthful to myself and learning to be authentic in my truth is so important, so as hard for me to share this truth. This is my truth and I want to own my own truth. Thank you for this. This would only be the weird video and the truth of this video is to be authentic on who you are and know who you are in your connected spiritual being, having human experience, your spiritual being is the one that is perfect that comes in that aligned you to all the experiences that you have in this world. Your physical body is just the thing that moves with this spirit inside of you that is able to accomplish things. This stuff changes every few, every cell that is in my body is a new cell. Every year or so. It is okay that this is it that who I really am, but who I really am is that spiritual being that is connected unconditionally to all those people who loved me and to those people who I loved. Thank you for your support and I wish you the most blessed Monday. Day 6. Thank you.
by Laura | Jun 26, 2019 | Gratitude
We are taught sometimes to reject our self. When we act bitchy, as women can, we are told that is not okay. You have to learn to understand yourself to know why this inner something is coming out, this inner bitch, this inner bully, whatever that inner thing inside of you is, was something that you created to protect yourself. If you got angry at yourself for that inner thing, that protects you, then it’s going to be this war inside your head. We created everything that we use as a protective mechanism to protect our self. If we have our inner bully, inner bitch, inner child, an inner victim – these are things that we use to protect ourselves and we all have those. When we learn to love that little defensiveness, we tell our self, it’s okay. We have been taught to reject our self, and that part of our self we have created is to protect our self. What we are going to do is, you no longer need it, and say I love you and I am here for you and I got your back. Call on your inner Christ, Jesus left the comforter and he’s in you if you don’t believe in that, knowing a higher power out, trust in that instead of rejecting yourself for something you created to protect yourself. Because when we use love instead of rejection to dispute anything, love destroys anything that is not of you. When you get that little protective guard up, that want you to react and even if you do react, have it yourself, be light-hearted. Say hey little girl or little guy, I got your back, We all have that thing inside of us that comes out to protect us. If we only get a hammer, everything looks like a nail or bodies created reactive ways to respond to our world according to the ways we are raised. What we are going to do is we are going to reprogram our brain not to respond that way and you do not want it to do by rejecting yourself. You want to do it by owning yourself and laughing at that little child. When your children act in a way that you do not like, you kindly guide them to the way that you want them or you desire for them to be, but you do not reject them. Rejecting any part of yourself is never a good thing. It only leads to a war inside of your head. Learning to love yourself, love that inner self, she comes out to protect you, whatever that is. You are going to say, wait a minute, you are coming out right now and you can just be real. Hey, right now I am in real vulnerable state, do not push me too hard, this bitch is going to come out. Learning to love yourself, just learning to love every part of yourself, the good, the bad, the ugly, because when we can love our self, we can grow. But anything that we reject, comes back with a freaking vengeance. Be careful of this, for what you thought to hate, because it sucks. Hate is never good. You do not want to hate anything, you do not want to reject anything, you want to choose – have preferences and it is going to make your life so much easier. If this resents with you and if not, that’s okay. Just know that love every part of yourself. Love the bitch, love the inner child, love the bully, love all those little things you created in yourself to survive to this moment and you can lay the bully to rest, the inner bitch down and can choose to take the higher out. It feels better not to react to the world, and not to reject things and just to be and have preferences, instead of rejecting things in people, because nobody wants to be rejected. Rejection can cause a lot of pain in people and not just odd about that. It has been an amazing and forming new process. Just allow yourself to be present and witness yourself, witness all of those things that come out in you and see what serves you and what does not anymore and what does not just lay it to rest. It’s okay. It serves you to this point. Have a funeral part that you have to, but love you, God only made one of You and live to the fullest. Without letting yourself get pulled into energies of resistance and struggle and whole lot stuff, not just worth it, it’s not worth it. Be beautiful, be amazing, be powerful and be YOU.
by Laura | Jun 25, 2019 | Gratitude
Person 1: I was born with a genetic condition called Cystic Fibrosis. My parents were told that I wasn’t going to live past 12 years old.
Person 2: I went in for about 3 interviews and I was so confident this was the one. And I didn’t get it. That was really hard.
Person 3: For the longest time I also wanted to be a Dad and I’m gay so it’s not like it could be 16 & Pregnant in the backseat of a Chevy or something.
Person 4: Over 400 people came. I was 1 of 10 girls that got called back. He picked everybody in front of who he wanted and he didn’t pick me and I was like, wow. I’ve worked my butt off for this.
Person 5 and 6: So here we were newly married and I didn’t have a job , but it was a time when there wasn’t very much support in regards to women’s rights.
Person 7: I was playing mud football with a bunch of my friends. My kneecap got severely dislocated and I ended up having to have surgery and it was really a terrifying time for me.
Person 8: She read the script, I got it back. Every single page had notes on it. This is the rejection part – You should take writing classes. You’re not funny.
Person 9: I remember the x-ray technician saying to me, You need to be checked into the hospital immediately.
Person 10: Everything is supposed to be golden. It was a business school and I went to an Ivy League business school and I just was like devastated by not having anything happening and seeing all friends, things happen for them.
I know, it’s hard to understand right now, but every delay has a blessing. By the time we’re 30, we’re expected to have everything figured out. But when we’re still failing, getting rejected and push backs, we realize life doesn’t work like that. Often, what appears as a curse can be our biggest blessing. Every breakdown can be a breakthrough. Every failure can be a step forward.
This man played Severus Snape in Harry Potter. He studied Graphic Design before Drama, going back to school to follow his passion at the age of 26. That was in 1972. He got his first BBC role in 1978. His first film role? Not until 1988 when he was 42 years old. His name is Alan Rickman.
This person, prior to publishing the first entry in the series, this person was a single mother on welfare and almost suicidal. During this time, she wrote Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone
while looking into becoming a teacher. She was also dealing with an ex-husband and all the challenges of being a single mother. She, of course, is J.K Rowling.
Remember this, someone graduated at 21, but waited for 6 years to get a job. Someone has no education, but was a millionaire at 21. Someone got married at 20 and divorced 5 years later. Someone got married at 35, but found everlasting love.
It’s not being quick, instant or now. It’s about your timing. Something maybe delayed, it may even be denied, but it doesn’t die unless you let it. Every delay has a blessing. If you keep going.
Person 8: And then I think less than one year later I got an Emmy nomination for co-writing an episode of Seinfeld. That opened up my career.
Person 10: I then went on to run a production company for almost 20 years or so. We won an Emmy award
Person 5 & 6: I became the Cultural Coordinator and then the Production Manager if the Public Television Network of the state and then I was hired by a 4 Agency as a Vice President and then I opened my own agency.
Person 1 :There’s no statistic and there’s no number for someone’s desire to fight or someone’s fight inside of them.
Person 4: But maybe, I wasn’t the right person for that particular job but he remembered me for another job.
Person 7: A year later, I found myself at the starting line of a Sprint-Triathlon. And all told, I ended up doing over 50 races including 4 IronMan distance races.
Person 3 : And then, with my son and having a kid, I mean, I just didn’t think that was just not going to happen and it did
Person 1 : Empathy and gratitude is what makes me want to help other people because I know what they’re going through. You remember your dono and you honor them by helping others.
Person 9 : I believe that your mind definitely affects you, if you’re not in that mindset to stay positive. Especially when you’re challenged with an illness.
Person 2: Everything that you’re going through right now, no matter how painful and how hard it is to get through, you’ll get through it and you’ll be stronger because of it.
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